Updated: Mar 4
I won't lie, the last half of this year has been miserable for me emotionally. It sounds dramatic to me now, but I am not sure how I made it out alive.
I know I have an excellent life. I spend a great deal of time practicing gratitude for the bounty that I am living in every single day. I have a roof over my head, a loving family, a job I enjoy, friends who adore me and I never go to bed hungry. My needs are met completely.
The salt in the wound is that I feel I've no right to suffer with depression and anxiety, I have no right to feel sad when I have so much good around me. It is hard to battle with this.... and that guilt only makes it harder.
I spend far too much time on Facebook and while it has gifted me with wonderful connections, events, laughter and cuteness - I find myself longing to break that habit.
I am trying to strip out the noise from my life, so that I can center myself and communicate my needs more clearly, so I can see what is really going on in my soul.
I am trying to make positive change from the train wreck that I have been feeling inside.
I got up one morning & stopped smoking marijuana (after decades of daily use), I started practicing yoga pretty regularly and am now taking evening walks with Ian. I gave up eating meat M-F (for the most part) and I do my best to avoid carbs and sugar when ever possible. I am trying to remove the parts of my life that weigh me down or feel burdensome and habitual.
I want to clear a path so that I can see my life for what it is. I don't want to passively mope around social media any longer.
I want to focus on my marriage, which has been put to the test this year and is still on the mend.
Together, Ian and I will eliminate some of that digital static from our lives - so that we can see each other more clearly.
You can find us here. We will still post photos to Instagram and will stay on Twitter for the time being.
You can always call or email. We would love to see you or talk to you in person.